End of the Year, May 27, 2010
If someone were to ask me to come up with one word to sum up this year’s honors/portfolio class, it would be this: hodgepodge. This word applies to everything, from our personalities, to the art that each and every one of us create. We are such a messy, yet beautiful, mixture of different persons, and the art we create thoroughly reflects that. We each have our own distinctive styles and it’s fairly easy to pick and choose who created what pieces. Although we are so clearly different, there’s this idea of commonality between us all; we create what we want to create based on our own emotions, perspectives, and standards. With no boundaries considered, we are essentially free to be whoever we want to be through the artwork that we create.
Our class is uninhibited and carefree in regards to what others might think of our work and we choose to be expressive in whatever way we please. Even though we may not all be the best of friends, I would like to think that we’ve gained a sort-of respect for each other through the year’s journey of growing as artists. Another important aspect about our class is that because of our difference in the ideas that we have, we’re all able to see different views and perspectives. It gives us a chance to take a peek through someone else’s eyes and see what they see. Our class is an extraordinary body of artists and we’re
Conceptual Piece, Tues. 4.27.10
Wissahickon High school is full of surveillance cameras in every hallway, catching everyone’s moves. People are either alone or with others. Seeing interaction between 2 or more people can be, at the least, intriguing. Since sound isn’t present in the surveillance cameras, one can interpret peoples’ interactions any way they wish. As for this conceptual piece, I am choosing to base my project solely on the idea of physical human interaction.
Most times, there is some degree of physical touch between people, whether or not it’s just a simple pat on the shoulder or a heartfelt embrace. With this project, I am going to harness my focus on the concept of using thermal infrared lighting. Almost always, touch goes hand-in-hand with temperature. Even when it’s the slightest of touch, the person receiving physical contact has some sort of inner-response to the feeling.
In order to put the focus on the interaction of people, I will make every thing else pitch black and only have the people, and other possible organisms, be able to show through the surveillance cameras. For every interaction there is between two or more people, I will create a mini-collage of “before”, “during”, and “after” snapshots. The images will consist of the three different times so that one can see the difference in body temperature when physical contact occurs.
Surveillance Log 5: Friday, 4.23.10
I’m not sure exactly why, but in this class, I feel extra shy and awkward. It’s hard to detect why because I’m really usually not this quiet, but it’s hard for me to strike up a conversation with any one in this class. I feel as though I’m sort of out-of-place in this room, with these people, but maybe I’m evaluating the situation too much. There are times when conversations do come up and they start flowing, but I become uncomfortable and find it hard to answer peoples’ questions/statements with more than a simple word or two. Maybe I’m just a socially-awkward person, or maybe it’s because it’s the first period of the day and I literally just woke up.
Surveillance Log 4: Thursday, 4.22.10
Today, i directed my focus more on the circle of friends of Sean, Amelija, and Sara. They seem like a rather tight-knit group but they have these moments of “Picking-on-Amelija-time”. I must admit that I do, indeed, find it entertaining most of the time, but I feel as though i have no right to chuckle along because I am an outsider to them (no negative connotation intended). It’s difficult for me to decipher whether or not Sean and Sara (but more on Sean’s part) are actually semi-serious about what they say and how they mock Amelija or if it’s out of pure fun and entertainment. I just pretend that it’s out of light-heartedness, because i’d hate to think otherwise.
Surveillance Log 3: Wednesday, 4.21.10
In our class, we have several different kinds of personalities. It’s as though were like a jar filled with jellybeans with multiple different colors. There are the quiet ones, like myself, the unique ones, the loud ones, and the plainly “normal” ones. I think that Pheobe was the main character in my class-time today. She repeatedly said strange things and made weird noises, as she always does. It was nothing out of the norm for her, but i came to realization that it actually is quite strange that she does and says these things. It’s entertaining and keeps me laughing along with the rest of the class.
Surveillance Log 2: Tuesday, 4.20.10
Today was a rather strange day because of the quietness that is usually not present in the classroom. Maybe it was because a few people were not there, but regardless, Patrick was still there and yet there wasn’t much interaction between the students going on. There were a few quiet side-conversations that occurred throughout the room, but even still, it was as if someone had died and every one was obliged to stay quiet. Between my peers, there was nothing of interest that happened today, so there’s not much to record about.
Surveillance Log 1: Monday, 4.19.10
I think that it’s quite obvious to realize that my focal point throughout my logs would be Patrick, being that he is the spontaneous, off-beat, talkative one. One thing that i was able to observe today was the formation of different so-called “cliques” in the room. The most significant of these cliques, i would think, is Patrick’s. It’s either that all of my peers are included in this big clique, or that I am the only one excluded. I don’t exactly mind, since i am clearly an extremely introverted person. This big clique talks about different things and though they talk during most of the class, they manage to get their work done while having some fun.
Art Room Surveillance Prompt (4.22.10)
The surveillance of people versus inanimate objects is a completely different animal. People are alive; they feel, see, touch, smell, and hear. They have actual feelings and senses while simple objects are not live, not breathing. Surveillance of another person can be interpreted in a variety of different that overall, have a bad/rude connotation. A few of these words can be: stalking, spying, invasion of privacy, creeping, observing, staring, etc. When a person is being surveilled, there is an obvious sense of their privacy being completely invaded. No one enjoys the feelings of some one else watching their every move, listening to their every word.
With objects and inanimate things, it is practically the complete opposite situation. Objects obviously have no feelings and don’t have the ability to sense anything, therefore, when/if they are to be the object of surveillance, there is no emotion involved. On the contrary, humans would probably have a constant feeling of uncomfortableness if they are being surveilled. There is a clear ethical difference between surveillance of objects and humans because there is an automatic feeling of invasion of privacy when someone is watching your every move.
Surveillance Log 5: Friday
The dictator (man at the top of the mountain) has won and the newly created society is going under an identity crisis as a whole. It looks as though a rainbow had just thrown up on it and now there are all sorts of colors everywhere. Tiki men and little wooden native american men and released into modern-day society on the prowl for some food. They come across the horse, which its twenty times their size, and proceed to attack it. When they do, the human population goes berzerk, taking the kill offensively. They are now devising a plan to get back at the Native American wooden people.
Surveillance Log 4: Thursday
I looked at this world through a different set of eyes today. Instead of seeing it as more of a “free” world, i just saw a pile mountain of chaos. Like everything was coming to an end and no one knows what to do with themselves. The people don’t know where they belong, soldiers are at random places, people are wearing ridiculous accessories, and other objects and creatures are roaming around withing the “human society”. Everyone is in the wrong place and wearing and doing the wrong thing.
Surveillance Log 3: Wednesday
I began finishing up my first oil pastel piece today, filling in the background with a gradient of blue. I didn’t get to look at much of the sculpture today, but i guess i took a lot more notice of the small things than usual. Instead of focusing on looking at the “main” objects, i took a closer look at the more discreet objects; the ones less noticeable. A few of the things i noticed were the fuschia and black striped material, the little soldier figurines all around the table, and the structure itself; all the boxes(?) that the objects are laying on top of. I also took notice of the many hand-made looking small objects (i.e the “people” made of tape).
Surveillance Log 2: Tuesday
Today, I worked on my oil pastel piece again and focused of the leaves and grapes. However, while i was observing the sculpture, I began to see it as this whole other world with the guy at the top as its “ruler”. All the leaves and grapes were the nature and the heads were obviously represented the human beings. Instead of it being a world that is similar to earth, it’s more of a “free” place; where people can wear and do whatever they want without the fear of being judged. It’s definitely a more colorful and expressive place.
Surveillance Log 1: Monday
Today when I was working on my first oil pastel surveillance piece, I put almost all my focus on the “people” in the collage of different objects. I began to categorize them in my mind. There are a couple of heads all around the collage that remind me of ancient history because of their color, texture, and the sort-of vibe that they give off. Some of the other heads look like disguised barbie doll heads. They’re pretty, but yet they have these accessories on them that hide their beauty. Another thing that caught my attention were the leaves and how they’re different colors in them and i tried to capture that in my oil pastel piece.
Surveillance Prompt 2.25.10
In a relationship between the surveillant and the surveilled, I don’t believe that truth and/or fact exist. I can’t see how there is any way that a surveillant knows the person’s “story” or what his/her intentions are of doing anything. The surveillant can assume what the person’s doing, but they’d never know the truth or the facts. I think the same goes for the surveilled and the surveillant.
Not only does the surveilled not even the surveillant, but some times, the surveilled doesn’t even know that they are being surveilled. I can’t see how there’d be any way that truth can lie in a relationship between the surveilled and the surveillant. The truth cannot be revealed or known until the two parties actually communicate and simply tell each other what their “intentions” are. Until then, the only thing we can do, is assume.
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Game Language Diptych Reflection
I began this project thinking that I had it perfectly planned out in my head, but the end result was indeed very far from what my initial plans were. For my Monopoly piece, I wanted to actually paint the game board onto the canvas (which i failed to do because the canvas is not square) and i wanted to paint the Monopoly signature “man” on top with words instead of painting it with solid color (that worked out well). In the end, because it was my second piece, I didn’t get to finish the background, in which i was planning on painting the word “Monopoly” palimpsestically in red.
The first piece that i did, which was the Pokemon one, i set my standards to high in proportion to the time that we had available to do this project. I had planned on doing the logo on the bottom as i did, and then in the background, paint multiple pokemon, and then in hot glue, write out the names of the different pokemon. I did get everything done, except for the painting of multiple pokemon. Once i started to pain pikachu, i realized how time consuming it would be to paint more than one, so i just stuck with pikachu and only painted him (yes, he is a boy). Although i wasn’t able to fulfill my expectations for this project, i still am satisfied with how they both turned out in the end. I shall finish the background of my Monopoly one soon enough.
What two games have contributed to who I am and what might they “say” to one another?
The two games that contributed to who I am today are Monopoly and Pokemon. Growing up with two older brothers, all three of use were constantly into playing games and things of that sort. When I was younger, in relatively elementary school, we were always playing pokemon. We would even go to one of our neighbors’ house and trade cards with him. His dad would always be there to make sure the kid was making smart choices as to what to trade with us. It was sort of ridiculous.
The second game was Monopoly. My brothers and I played this as we got older and always brought it out whenever we had guests over. In total, we have 3 or 4 different editions of Monopoly and it served as sort of a bonding game. We spent time together through this game since we didn’t exactly have anything else to do. Monopoly would say, “Go to jail,” to Pokemon, and Pokemon would say, “Gotta catch ‘em all” to Monopoly.
Cultural Identity
Prompt: How do you define culture and how does culture define you?
Familial Identity
Prompt: How are you positioned within your family dynamic and how does that influence your identity?
Stereotypical Identity
Prompt: What is your perception of how you are perceived by others?
“Other” Identity
Prompt: In what ways or situations do I find myself treated as an “Other”?
Heroic Identity
Prompt: What defines a hero and what is heroic about you currently, or what heroic qualities would you hope to develop as you age.
My cultural set of cards I think expressed myself perfectly. With all the different cultures around me, it’s indubitable that I only belong to one, therefore I expressed 10 different and distinct cultures that I am a part of. With my first 10 cards, the only materials i used were paint and markers. The symbolism of every card came from an aspect of the specific culture that represented it well. I kept them simple and fairly easy to understand and I was pleased with how they turned out.
For my familial identity cards, flowers were the main focus. I chose flowers because I think they are a good representation of love, and that is what my family is about. Since I have 5 people in my family, I dedicated 2 cards to each of my family members and myself. My full-bloomed flower is much more funky and colorful than the rest of the flowers because I see myself as the most “out there” person in my family. I believe that my intentions for my second set of cards is easily detectable.
I think that when others look at me, they see a shy, quiet, dark, unhappy person. Its been brought to my attention many times that when I have a normal straight face on, I look very unhappy. For this set of cards, I chose to paint a moon in space because when you look at it, it’s a very gloomy and dark scene. On the back of the cards, I painted a sun to show how I really am when someone gets to know me; bright and energetic. I think that my reasoning behind this set of cards is a bit hazy, but it was my own interpretation.
For the “Other Identity” cards, I represented it on more of a societal level. In society, there is always that “other” person, the one who is excluded and looked at strangely. Although I am treated as an “other” in every part of my life at some point, it is still unfathomable to me. I cannot seem to understand why we find the need to leave people out because of their differences. I took a quote from Martin Luther King Jr., about us, as a whole, still struggling to be “together”, and wrote it. Out of all the different sets of cards, I felt most strongly about this one but if i had the time, I would have added more onto them.
In my prompt, I wrote that my most heroic quality was that even though my life is a mess and is chaotic at times, it doesn’t affect my performance and how I act on the outside. Although this quality may be interpreted into me feeling indifferent towards a sensitive situation, that is never the case. I portrayed this in my cards with the white circle in the middle representing me. There is splattering everywhere else, but I am left untouched on the inside.
What defines a hero and what is heroic about you currently, or what heroic qualities would you hope to develop as you age?
By dictionary, a hero means this… noun, 1. A man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities. My personal definition of a hero is someone who has qualities that any one other person admires and looks up to. A hero doesn’t have to be someone that is recognized by a whole body of people. I think a heroic quality about myself currently, is that I can cope with everything that goes on in my life. No matter how much stress is on me, with school and my outside/personal life, I can deal. Another heroic quality that I think I have is that I’m not someone that is easily hurt and distraught by what other people think of me. It can be a bad thing because it may mean that I don’t care what other people think of me, but in my case, I do care. It’s just that I don’t allow other people’s thoughts get in my head and bother me.
As I grow older and mature, I hope to be someone that is a good influence to younger people, in the way that I act, what I say, and w hat I do. I’m often not aware of my disposition and I am oblivious as to how it affects other people. I think that I have the tendency to not care too much.
In what ways or situations do I find myself treated as an “Other”?
I think that a person is constantly being treated as an “other” in at least one aspect of their lives; whether it is in your family, group of friends, society, etc. I personally find myself being treated as an “other” in all the different parts of my life. In family, I feel like the outcast because often times, my siblings or my parents gang up against me. It seems as though no one is ever on my side and I always have to deal with my problems by myself.
In my group of close friends, it is only three of us: Me, Rachel, and Angela. Because we are a group of three, it’s hard for all of us to be “in the loop”. There’s always at least one of us feeling left out of the group. Sometimes it’s hard to deal with because I don’t feel like I’m connected with them and I don’t know the events and happenings that go on in their lives, but all three of us have learned to accept that this is the way it’ll always be. With society, I find myself feeling like the “other” the most. As time is passing, culture is obviously changing drastically and I think it’s hard for me to keep up with. I don’t exactly see it as a bad thing because, in my opinion, it’s mostly negatively changing. From the outside looking in, I see the people nowadays as living life the way they please, without thinking about consequences. It becomes frustrating seeing people, teens especially, throwing their lives away for a few moments of happiness that they find in things that aren’t beneficial to them.
What is your perception of how you are perceived by others?
I have heard countless times in my life that my first impression is that I am the most shy and quiet girl. Not only do I find it one-hundred percent not true, but I cannot seem to understand why people perceive me that way. When I reflect upon the meetings that I have with people for the first time, I look at myself like a normal person; not shy, not loud, but just in the middle.
My friends are constantly telling me that when I’m not smiling or laughing, I look very angry. I think that when people see me for the first time, I am hard to approach because of my naturally mean, bitter look. People tell me that I should smile more often so that I don’t come off as upset or mean to anyone. I think that the worst thing that I have heard people say about me is that I seem as though I think I am better than other people. My close friends have brought it to my attention that when I talk to people, I some times to talk in a tone and way that makes me sound like I’m more superior to the other person. All of these are negative points about me; however I think that when someone becomes friends with me, I am good company!
How are you positioned within your family dynamic and how does that influence your identity?
In my family of five, I and the baby; the only girl, the youngest, under two older brothers. My oldest brother, James, is seven years older than me. He’s a very hard-worker, smart, good-looking, and has his priorities straight. My other brother, Peter, is three years older than me, he is also smart, good-looking, has his priorities straight, and can carry himself very well. The same goes for my parents. My mother and father are also very well-rounded people. I, on the other hand, am like a fish out of water in my family. Instead of comfortably swimming in the pond with the rest of my family, I am somewhere unknown, creating a mess in my family.
I am a different person inside my family than when I am outside. It’s nothing that I try to do intentionally, but somehow, every situation that I get caught up in, it constantly leads to me getting into trouble. Because I am the troublemaker of the family, it influences me to try and make myself into a better person. I cannot say that I have been succeeding in accomplishing that, but I am slowly beginning to mold myself into being a more collected person. It pressures me in some sort of way because I have two older siblings who were essentially the perfect kids to my parents and I feel like I am the disappointment at often times.
How do you define culture and how does culture define you?
I view culture as the way someone’s life is molded and formed by their surrounding, including people, location, religion, entertainment, and much more. Depending on where a person lives, their environment and community really takes a toll on the way they think and act, regardless of whether or not that is evident. I think many times, people are affected by culture negatively, especially because of the media and entertainment nowadays.
It’s hard for me to say how culture view me but as much as I hate to say it, the only thing that comes to my mind is me being perceived as a typical Asian; being smart, particularly in math. Although I am unable to clearly state the way culture views me, I am, however able to say the way culture has affected me. From my religion, being a Christian, to TV networks such as MTV, they’ve all contributed to shaping the way that I think and talk and act. Much of my thoughts have been corrupted by the people around me and their thoughts, the way they say things, and their overall actions. I think that culture can be a wonderful thing and is beautifully different wherever you go. Where I am currently, I don’t believe that it’s the best place to be influenced, but it does have its positive affects.
